Ev: i personally believe that when you go for something of course there where you should put your heart so that it can be more fruitful, unless you don’t have a choice and thats the only way you can serve good meals on your table, then its a risk too.

life is always full of challenges and of making decisions. i dunno if i got your entry right, but i hope i make sense here, somehow!;D

dwordpresser: Well, i agree with you Ev. Lucky are those who can choose what they want to do to earn a living. I have seen a bit of how those who don’t have a choice settle for a meager wage, just so he or she can “can serve good meals on his or her table” as you mean to say.

Well, I guess life is just like that, unfair. And it will never be fair. There will always be the poor, the rich and the filthy rich.

For me, it doesn’t matter whether a person is rich or not. What concerns me more is whether you truly happy with your life or not. If you can sincerely answer your self in the silence of your room that life is beautiful no matter what, whether you have everything you want or don’t have anything but your family and loved ones, then I guess you can truly be happy.

I guess how you handle life’s challenges no matter what your status is, is also important . I know a lot of rich guys and gals my age and, boy, can they really throw their life away or what. There are exceptions to this of course. It’s between them and God.

Each of us have a life to live. We may decide to give it purpose. We may also decide to end it. God does not push people around. He gave us free will. That alone gives meaning to our lives for we become the “captains” or our lives. The bigger challenge would be whether we can give it back to Him who gave it to us in the first place or not.

Giving back the control of our lives to God is never easy. I have tried it personally and is still trying. In fact, it takes a lifetime for many to do so I believe. Taking control of our life is just “so human”. Commonly, we hear in movies and even in our relationships the question “who are you to take control of my life?”. Many times and subconsciously, we say that to people, and we don’t go far on what we tell God (if you believe in God in the first place).

We humans are obsessed with our lives. Well, its the only thing we have when we first came out of our mother’s womb. The search for immortality has always been a subject of many movies of magic. Yet, these did not came out of magic. That search of eternal existence is innate within us. Why do we struggle to live? Why do we go to the doctor when we get sick? Why do we grieve when we know that we are dying of cancer? It’s because life has become so much more important to most of us than anything else.

You can choose how to live your life, its your call. You can try to scour the universe in search for that elixir of eternal life. You can try to take hold of your life as tight as possible just to prove how self-managing you are. You can even hoard every possession and material vanity you can afford to have. Or, you can try to constantly remind your self that life is fleeting and what really matters is how you take the daily challenges of life, how you relate to others and how people will remember you when you are gone.

The possibilities, combinations and permutations are endless. The road is yours to take.

Crossroads

Shall i follow the stream
or cross the sea
Strive for a dream
or let life be?

Shall it be on neon lights
that spell success?
Or flickering lamplight
for happiness?

Follow the thunder?
Follow the storm?
Follow the whisper
that breeze and leaves for?

Follow my heartbeat
Follow my head
What shall each bring me?
Where shall each lead?

I encountered this poem when I was in high school. It was in our English language class I believe. I was able to grasp the meaning before but it was not that real for me until recently in my life.

The poem really talks about choosing whether to take the road that leads one to a city life and corporate world or the one that leads you to live a simple life in the comforts of your home, your own small business or your farm. I guess it applies more to those who live in rural areas where the city seem to be an elusive corporate paradise where money and success is.

Still, I can relate to the poem. For those of you who know me, you know how I left my job to pursue a career in information technology. The decision wasn’t bad really. I learned so much more about the thing that just started as a hobby when I left than when I stayed. Later on, I realized that it was more than the choosing between my previous career and my current career. It was actually a difficulty in choosing whether to live a run-run, chasing-those-deadlines, keep-your-butt-moving life or live a simple, passionate, laid-back, slow-paced, calm life.

I believe many people feel this way at times. For me, I guess I easily burned out at that time. I realized now that I was just too hard on myself and my attitude towards my job took its toll on me. I was looking at my job as something that can be accomplished or finished one time through careful planning – much more like a project. I forgot the fact that a job is something that constantly tests your skill and your character day in and day out – more like life itself. It would only end if you decide to leave the job. Then you go find another, get disappointed and quit again. The loop will never end.

Being jobless and having time for yourself have benefits. You get to wake up in the early morning breeze, drink your favorite coffee while reading the latest in the newspaper. Better yet, look outside and rest your eyes in the garden for hours – a relaxing feeling that you seldom have when you are always in a hurry for work in the morning and fairly exhausted when you go home at night. When you’re jobless, you get to think of your life a lot. You get to think of finding purpose in the things that you do. However, you also get to think about your joblessness especially when your finances are drying out already. This is dangerous as this can lead to depression that lasts for months, even years.

All in all, my hopes are high. The world does not remain as it is. It is constantly changing. Thinking about the poem, maybe I don’t have to make a choice in the first place. Maybe creating a balance between the two is actually possible. Finding peace amidst chaos is a higher challenge for any of us. Finding success in flickering lamplights gives a deeper meaning to life. I shall not know the answer if it is really possible unless I go through it myself. Life is just like that.