Blog Archives

On Peace and Love

Posted on October 27, 2008
by

Recently, I have been feeling tired and stressed out. Part may be caused by work, while part of the things that are going on in my life.

I always feel tired and for more than a week, I have been feeling headaches and pain in my neck, back and shoulders. Because of worry, I even consulted the company doctor for what I’ve been feeling on my left head.

There were quite a number of events that happened last week, like my previous boss’ wedding, my mom loosing her atm where I deposited her allowance, day to day life experiences – just as anybody experience it. No matter how I tried to relax though (e.g. getting more sleep than needed), I know that what’s bothering me is mental and not physical. I have been having a lot of thoughts lately – like my regularization on my current job (which is a big factor for my decisions), my girlfriend’s visa approval (which she received just this morning), my savings fund (which I try to fill as much as I could). This always lead to my poor performance in any of my roles (boyfriend, son, brother, friend, employee).

Good thing, yesterday, while cleaning a small cabinet, I found my “Follow Your Heart” book and had the chance to continue my reading (which started more than a year ago, by the way).  When I checked by the book mark, it lead me to the topic that was just what  I needed at the moment. This was the book that helped me understand why one could never push someone to learn something. Only when they begin to search for answers to their questions that the right time then comes. True to it, a lot of things in the book become more alive at the right time only.

The chapter was tackling about one key to finding fulfilment in life, and that is: peace of mind and love. The very thing that’s deteriorating my enthusiasm became clearer as the words unfold their meaning. I realized that trying hard to get things done as soon as possible, as much as possible was the very thing that drained me. I failed to remember  that things will always fail once in a while – people, things, schedules; work will fail once in a while.

On my previous entries, you know how fond I am of going to my favourite garden back in Davao. Now, I found one that, although not really replaces it, but at least provides the calmest ambience I can have in this big city. I have been missing out on finding time to relax – not relax as to sleep or watch a movie, but relax as in meditate in silence and solitude. Lately, I have been going to places that not only stress me, but drain me – parties, malls, bars and cinemas. The book mentioned that relaxation does come from within and becomes reinforced when aided by outside factors. Fresh air provides better vibes than air-conditioning, trees and grasses replenishes your energy while flashing lights and concrete walls drain you.

Part and parcel of peace is love. One could not find real peace with hate in his heart. For one to have peace in a dangerous, cruel place that we call world, one must learn to accept people and things. For one to truly do such, he or she must know how to love. For in one aspect, love is accepting something or someone as they are. Finding faults will always drain you, not only of your energy but of your happiness as well. When you could not accept your job, you could always find one. When you could not accept your new found friend, you could always stop communicating with him or her. But when you could not accept the world you live in, you’ll find it difficult to find a new world, can you.

When one begins to look beyond the faults, the failures, the defects, one learns to heal not only others but more so him or herself.

You may say this is not as easy as I say it is. I agree. But it is as well undeniably true. To most, it may take more than half a lifetime to learn this but small baby steps that one strives to achieve day by day is something to begin with.

Share
[ 4 Replies ]

Power of the Mind

Posted on October 18, 2008
by

I woke up this morning late. The night was something I have been longing for throughout the week. Thank God He made the weekends. A week’s worth of work is a Friday night’s worth of sleep.

Waking up, it’s another day in the big city. I have to get my clothes ready for the washing. I have to get myself eating brunch too. I’m starving.

It’s really funny what you get to think about during weekends. I went down from the room and turned on my laptop. Plugged in the speaker and put some Christmas music to fill the morning daze. Yes, Christmas is in the air, especially in the Philippines where Christmas is celebrated a thirds of a year.

I just remembered, I haven’t been writing lately. Well, the new job is getting more and more demanding by the day. The job is not the real challenge for me though. What I find challenging is how to balance my relationships, the roles I play. Juggling my roles as an employee, as a son, a brother, a boyfriend and a Christian is not an easy task. But then, that’s what makes it exciting right?  A few days back, I attended a training on thinking and acting decisively. The speaker mentioned that an average person can juggle at most five roles in a lifetime. The top five is manageable. The rest becomes a blur. There will be times that you would have to change a role for another. That would then depend on the priorities at the moment. For example, you used to not consider your role as a brother. Then, a sister had a baby and you would have to assist her in her new child. Or maybe, you decided to get married so you would need to do more of your role as a fiancée than your role as a son peer perhaps.

Through out the few months in this new life of mine in this big city, I have learned to let go of little worries and focus on what really counts in my life. It then brings you back to the things that are important to you, to the things that you value.

It is here in the big city that I learned how complicated people make of their lives. Why? Why can’t we just make each other’s lives easy? Why do we have to be rich? Why do we have to get better than others? Why do we have to compete for excellence?

I learned that here in the big city, a lot of things matter – for other person that is. What you wear, how you look, how much money you make. You get the point. I realized too that since I am here, I need to play the game in order to survive. The worst thing I could do is resent everything that happens in my life. Now that’s an easy exit. Another option though is to ask how do you make sense of everything that happens in your life? I am getting that idea that a lot of things that happen in one’s life begins in the mind.

I read in some book a phrase I find valuable to remember in life. I’d like to quote it and here it goes: “Watch your thoughts, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, they make up your life.” True to it, your life is moulded by how you perceive things. Do you look at a glass half empty or half full? A classic but never fails to make sense.

So there you go, my thoughts for the moment. The thinking plays a big role in defining a life. What you can or cannot do in life all begins with the mind. Other than that, all you need is a dash of blessing, and a lifetime of imagination!

Share
Leave a Reply ?

Working My Work Attitude

Posted on August 20, 2008
by

I went home early today. I had a training from 8am to 5pm so I get to go home by 5:20pm or so. As usual, I took the route I usually take walking back to my apartment.

It’s funny what happens when you spend too much time alone – you get to ask a lot of questions about yourself and your life. I have always wondered and this evening, I did again, why I have issues with having a job. It’s not really about a specific job like the one I have right now but more of… why do we need to work.

I might sound stupid about this. Maybe I am. But please pardon me. This is something I did not grow up with – having the right attitude towards work.

When I arrived at the apartment, I had a little time resting alone in my room, half naked with the lights turned off. I was resting my mind when I fell asleep for awhile. It was more of a nap actually. When I woke up, I decided to get some dinner. I bought some around the corner and treated myself with a movie entitled “Pursuit of Happyness” by Will Smith. Yes, the title is misspelled but try to watch the movie and you’ll understand why.

Well, expectedly (as I presume you are guessing as well) the movie gave me insights to my question.

You see, all the while I thought I was looking for real happiness in my work. I was wrong. I realized it was not true happiness I was searching for but immediate gratification – gratification with having fun at work, gratification with finding people to listen to your rants, gratification with things even outside work. I wasn’t looking for it at the wrong place. I was looking for the wrong thing at my work.

I realized that true happiness isn’t something you feel yourself. True happiness is finding someone else find happiness because of you. That kind of happiness is what drives you to overlook your own emotions, your own concerns, your own issues. Thinking about someone else outside yourself gets you going even if you don’t feel fine. Seeing people you love most being happy makes you happier than they themselves are. It’s the key to satisfaction. It is the key to finding real happiness. It drives you like the gasoline in a car. You have the engine. You just got to let it run with other people’s happiness as the fuel.

Looking into myself at the moment, there has been a few “givens” that I believe are factors to why I feel such. One is, I am the youngest in the family and I grew up not minding any younger sibling but myself. My immediate satisfaction is the driving force. Second thing, I grew up in a family where a job is done not because it is self-rewarding but because there is a consequence for not doing the job right. I grew up doing household chores out of fear and not out of love. I don’t regret this nor do I blame my parents for it. I believe things happen for a purpose and, as one good and knowledgeable colleague told me during my latest business trip, there is a time for everything. And I believe this is the time for me to learn that. I know learning it is more than just realizing it, but at least it is a start.

Saying such, I realize day by day the purpose why I got this job. Well, for one, all I wanted a few months back was actually finding a job where I could practice my course and at the same time work on something related to information technology. Next to that, I desired for a job that gets me to save for my future when I decide to settle, get married and start my own family. That dream job is basically my job right now. And, not to brag, I admittedly am in one of the best multinational companies in the world.

I just realize how much I despise the gifts I have been receiving just because I do not get immediate gratification with things I face. The movie I watched awhile ago made me realize that. I know I still have a lot to do to get a regular status for the job and often times, I just think in advance that in case I don’t get the job, I could just go back to my home town and do stuff for a living on my own. I don’t mean to degrade what I have back at home but then I realized that often times, whenever I think of such, I am just actually giving myself an excuse not to do my best with what I have right now. I mean, one knows deep inside when one gives his best to something or not. This job is a gift and God wants me to be a good steward for it. If, in the best of my knowledge, I know that I have given my best to it but still not get a regular status for the job, then I would know that the training period was enough for me to learn the stuff I need to know on this experience.

But, until then, I must patiently and consistently seek true “happyness” at work or with my loved ones. Only then will I find fulfilment and do my best in whatever I do.

As a figure of speech, here is my take: The mist is getting thinner and the road is getting clearer. Your clothes may get damp often, your feet may get tired with walking and your pain may bring tears to your eyes along the way. But then, finding out that the people you carry in your heart remain rested, joyful and happy, then the pain goes away with their laughter.

Whatever you do, don’t forget to cherish each moment. Laugh a lot. Love. Live. After all, we only get it once.

Share
Leave a Reply ?

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Posted on June 28, 2008
by

Have you ever been in a situation where a lot of things are not going your way and there’s is nothing you can do about it? Well, I have been through those things a lot lately. The best thing to do so far is: Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Having a lot of concerns and some other urgent and more important things to think about makes you decide to do so. Sometimes, all you want to do after a stressful day of public commuting, walking a lot, going to different high-rise buildings and public commuting once again is get home quick, play your favorite music, have a hearty dinner and have a good night sleep. Because tomorrow, everything is back to what it was the day before.

When you are in that situation, I think you will really learn to let go of arguments with taxi drivers, over-priced products, required monetary tips, nosy landladies, and many other stuff you’d typically call a day-to-day irritation. Of course, this does not include life-threatening situations and highly inexcusable offenses.

Living this new life pushes you to filter out things to react about and things to let go. Life is so beautiful to be marred simply by people who may or may not irritate you intentionally. I realized that the more you react to things that do not deserve a reaction, the more you waste your energy on things not relevant to you. The laws of physics state that every action requires a certain amount of energy which is changed from one form to another in the process. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. If I translate this, it would be that a certain action caused a person outside of you to spend some amount of energy which, intentionally or not, irritated you. When you let it irritate you, you tend to spend more energy to compensate for the insult.

I guess a good practice is to create a certain limit as to which a certain irritant can affect you – a buffer layer around you if I may call it. This buffer layer allows you to absorb the tolerable and the intolerable. The definition of such would then depends from person to person.

Well, so much for that analogy which seemed to have just complicated my point. The bottom of it is this: not sweating the small stuff may actually be the best thing to do when facing a lot of stress. It creates a preprogrammed list of things to spend and not to spend your energy on. It saves one time and energy which you might as well spend in doing things that you like – sports or hobby, whatever pleases you. I think this can really do a great part if you want to have a good stress management system. Pretty fun! Take the challenge.

Share
Leave a Reply ?

10 Latest Things I Learned

Posted on June 24, 2008
by

Whew! I finally got the chance to do some blogging here in Makati. Life was a bit of a run-run lately, relocating and settling things. Good thing my girlfriend was around to help a lot with things. She was also busy fixing things up for her job offer in Canada. Since she was planning to leave me for a while, might as well get myself busy with a new job and a new place for the mean time.

I have been learning a lot lately with the metro life. I learned that:

1. When you pay a taxi driver, expect to pay an extra mandatory tip of Php20 and up

2. The simplicity of a country-side life is a blessing

3. My mom was right about many things in life

4. When things go wrong, your family is the closest thing to get help from

5. Wifi is not always free around here

6. Having hot water around is already heaven

7. There were a lot of stuff back at home that I didn’t get to appreciate until now

8. Always having bread for breakfast makes you crave for a meal of rice like a man craving for water in the desert

9. Independence is not a bliss at all times

and 10. It’s more expensive to live alone compared to living  with your mom and pop.

Well, that’s it for now. My job starts in a week and hope I get to live the flow here in this big city. Good night everyone.

Share
Leave a Reply ?

A Silent Afternoon

Posted on June 11, 2008
by

I just finished following up and got my authenticated birth certificate at last. I decided to come here again at MTS. The sun was still up as I got in. I went looking for my favorite spot immediately. It’s a bench with a bush on it’s back – really a good spot to be alone. There was a thin wind but that was all there was in the air. There were a few people around, mostly students. It reminded me that school opening has just got back and the streets will be full of school uniforms again.

The place was serene. The trees were waving slowly. I opened the laptop and the screen was in glare. The sun at my back, although hidden by several tree branches, still managed to reflect in the screen. I had to tilt my lap a little just to get a good view of whatever is happening in the screen.

Then, I checked my mail waiting for any news from the incoming company’s HR. I am getting anxious in going to Makati. Then, I remembered I still have a blog offer undone on one of my blogs. I hastily went to it. These offers were really really helpful for me, especially the past few months. Especially now with the incoming relocation, I need all the financial help I can get.

As I was doing the offer, the sky suddenly rumbled. Soon, the clouds were gathering above me. I think it is about to rain. Better get my jacket ready. The sun’s glare was also getting dimmer. The screen is much better to see. The guy jogging around the oval kept jogging. People were coming in too – two toddlers with there aunts or yayas, a couple finding a bench for themselves, two girls and a boy who sat right in front of me, and a group who sat in one corner who seems to be having fun as their laughter can be heard across the park.

People here could really get lazy around. Just sitting, probably thinking things through (or not thinking about anything at all). Such peace in a quite garden brings one to an introspection, at least in my case. The trees were definitely bigger and taller than a few years back. At a distance, another guy was sitting quietly, resting his chin in his clutched fist, probably counting the branches of the tree in front of him, hehe.

For some time, I wore my Ipod – until my head starts to ache. Do you notice how they make those earpieces? I think they need a better human engineering group to design that, hehe. The sound of silence was much more a soothing music. The birds were playing in the grassy ground. One was trying to carry on its beak a piece of a soda cracker. Quite a catch for an afternoon’s work.

The battery is getting low. Looks like I need to publish this post now. Just a glimpse of the world around me. Until next time. Ciao!

Share
[ 3 Replies ]

A Date with Another Girl

Posted on June 10, 2008
by

We went together inside a classy cafe. She was excited. It was her first time to dine there. To step into one was like a longing that came true. She had her mocha shake and oatmeal bar. She was very happy. I was very happy too to see her smile like that.

I’m sitting here with her as she talks about things, the ongoings of her life and mine and ours. I realize how I have been holding so much from her. I had tried a lot of things already, things that I know she had always been dreaming of having or trying but did not have the chance and money.

She deserves a lot and I hope it isn’t too late to give her the best experiences of life.

I hope I get to have another date with her soon.

It was a beautiful date with my mom.

Share
[ 1 Reply ]

The Only Way to Go is to Move Forward

Posted on May 31, 2008
by

This morning, I got a call from the company I have been applying at. I have waited for this call for more than a month now. The result – I got the job. I tell you , as the job description was relayed through phone, I got overwhelmed. It hasn’t sinked in yet, even till now at the time of writing. The scope is big. Good thing I have 3 months to learn the craft. For sure, they won’t endorse to me what I couldn’t bear, hehe.

The offer is really good and the company, a really big one. You can find their products all around you. For sure it’s an offer of a lifetime. But honestly, there is still that part of me that clings on to the life I have known to love – to be in Davao, living a peaceful, comfortable life, tinkering with my computer in my room, waking up late, having a coffee while watching the garden. Yes, the job requires me to work somewhere else, specifically, Makati. Just the thought of it makes me tremble a bit. I have seen quite a lot of Metro Manila and honestly, the life there is one I never dream to have.

Still, I believe that every event in our life brings with it a purpose. I know not yet what this brings me. Hmm, I remember my little prayer a few months ago. I told Him that I hope I could get a job with the course I studied with a twist of Info Tech. True to it, I got a position just like the one I prayed about. Waaaah. Be careful with what you pray for, I tell you.

I did call some of my siblings right after the job offer and for them, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I agree. My thinking is if this really doesn’t work out for me after doing my very best, then Davao is still waiting for me with open arms. It would be much more difficult to deal with “what might have been” issues later, hehe.

After almost a year of unemployment and making the most out of my blogging and web designing and graphics editing earnings, I went to the thinking of how I want my life to be in the next five or ten years. I have always wanted to have my own family soon and, thinking if I would remain with what I am doing right now, for sure I wouldn’t be able to give my family a descent life. I mean of course, I want the best for my future family and my current earning doesn’t even allow me to have a health insurance. Somewhere down the road, I decided to give it a try again with the corporate world. And here it is, knocking at my doorstep – again.

God really does work in mysterious ways. Really really fascinating. His timing and placing of things, if you’re keen enough to observe are really small miracles of life. I think this is what this is all about. This change in my life is a chance to prove that God has been and still is, making tiny miracles in our lives today. I know not yet in what form those will come but I’m quite sure there will be a lot of it.

For sure he has been doing those tiny little miracles on you too. Have you tried getting really worried of being late on an exam, only to find out that the teacher got sick and that the exam was postponed? Or have you tried needing a certain amount of money to get home when suddenly a friend comes and treats you with a free ride in the jeepney? I realized now how I have been missing out the good stuff that happens day after day after day in my life. I forgot how powerful He is against the biggest problem we could ever imagine. This is a chance to prove it once more.

A new place, a new culture, a new job. Life is a constant change. Imagine living your incoming five years the very same way you spent your last five years. Lousy. Very Lousy. Not to mention you, being bored to death. The good thing is, God is a God of variations and fun. Look at all the creatures of the ocean or the peoples of the world. The variations are simply illustrations of how infinite God’s creativity is. The that each of us take are nothing different. Each are hand-crafted by God with its tiniest details. Not that we no longer have a choice on how to live our lives. But if we heed it, you’ll find your life much much more exciting and fun!

I hope we are sensitive enough to how God is molding us in every situation we are in. We are dynamic people created by a limitless God. I don’t deny the fact that I have anxieties and fears. Yet, choosing to always look at the brighter side of life seems to be the best option for now. For me, the only way to go is to move forward. Just don’t forget to smell the flowers along the way (keeping a listening heart and clasping hands).

Share
Leave a Reply ?

A Chilly Morning and a Life to Live

Posted on March 21, 2008
by

I woke up in a chilly, rainy morning. It was a bit late, around 10:00 am. I had to do a few things the night before so had to keep up with sleep. My day actually began pretty well. I folded the blanket like I usually do, reach for my sleepers and unlocked my room door. I reached for the pot for some hot water and made myself a cup of hot cocoa. I looked outside the window as the light breeze touched my skin. There was no one in the house except me. My parents went to my grandparent’s house to see them for the holy week. It’s Maundy Thursday today.

Yep, I’m alone for the holy week. I really have to stay as I was expecting my uncle to come to continue with the house construction he’s been doing for more than a month now. Unfortunately, he had to cancel since it was raining since last evening. The rain isn’t really that hard but I guess he needs a break too. It was okay but that left me alone at home.

At first it was okay. I was even kidding my sister online about how I felt waking up alone in the house in a cold morning. I said I really felt how it is to live as an eligible bachelor. She told me to just savor the moment.

I had plenty of time throughout the day – something that I love to have. It just lets out my thoughts, whatever that’s left locked up in my mind. It’s a mental freedom I always cherish to have.

After lunch, I decided to plug-in a few movies, first of which was “The Myth” movie by Jackie Chan. My brother lend me a dvd compilation of a few Jackie Chan movies so I had a great time watching oriental action. When I have plenty of time (like today), I really like to internalize the messages in movies. A line from the movie struck me. It was from the princess who said “Why do we struggle so much to live, when we just become slaves of our destinies”. It was really beautiful (and the princess was pretty by the way). The princess was betrothed to a certain royalty but fell in love with the military general instead. For her, the rites and rituals of becoming a princess was too much. All the riches and status were hindrances to true freedom.

Aside from the impressive stunts that Jackie Chan pulled out that entertained me, the movie left me to thinking again about happiness and freedom and life. There is still that side of me that wants to dream again and again. I know much are entangled with my emotions but the mere presence of such in my heart, more than in my mind leaves me asking questions. Are there things higher than what meets my reality now? Are we set to each of our own higher purpose or am I simply a hallucinating guy disconnected from his immediate reality?

I guess what I am saying is, there are moments in our life that we pause for a minute and ask ourselves the meaning of our lives. I guess you have those moments too – a reflective, retrospective time that makes you ask the purpose for your very existence. Often times, we get too busy with work and daily tasks that we forget why we are doing such things in the first place.

After the movie, I watch another movie (still a Jackie Chan movie) and another and the last one is a movie by Nicholas Cage – The Weatherman. The latter was a story of a man who tried to refuse how the world sees him but then later on went in with the flow of life. The movie wasn’t asserting much of a point really but rather leaves the audience thinking for themselves on how they are going to make those things up in their own lives.

There was a part of the day that I felt alone. Tonight, I’ll be sleeping alone in this house in a cold bed, waiting for the sun to shine again the next day. Indeed, no man is an island. No matter how loner I thought I was before, a company would always lighten up the mood compared to being all alone. I might enjoy the view in our garden, the trees swaying softly in the breeze as drops of rain poured down every leaf. But having no one to share the moment, I only feel more and more sad by the minute. I dished out the idea immediately, preventing further damage but the thought was there already.

I decided to make the moment more productive – and decided to blog about it. So here I am.

If there is one thing I’ve learned today, here it goes: that life is full of seasons, a cold icy winter, a hot sunny summer, a lively spring and an melancholic fall, each play an important role in making us what we are – humans.

This chilly morning that I woke up to was just a morning amongst the mornings of my life. Though time seem to fly so fast throughout the day, it still had its part on making me appreciate the life I’m living.

Share
[ 2 Replies ]

Life is Full of Ups and Downs

Posted on March 5, 2008
by

For sure, this article title has been used over and over again. Still, it holds true.

Just today, my website where two of my top earning blogs got penalized by the big G. Zaaap! In a moment.. in a blinking of an eye. Hehe. I wasn’t really shocked though. It was something that I saw coming. I just stared at it straight in the eye until it hit me in the face

Oh well. It has been happening to bloggers exponential in number. I am just one of the statistic :D . Kidding aside, I have just reaffirmed that life is full of surprises – may it be positive or negative. Some get promoted while some get fired in one day within one company. These things are never going away as long we live. The important thing is (as I said before), these things happen for a purpose and that these things happen to us to make us persons of experience and wisdom. They try to teach lessons. You may find out that hard work pays and the opposite robs. You may learn that procrastinating leaves you cramming which then causes you not to meet an important project deadline which then leads you to packing up things in your big brown box, going home and telling your wife that you lost your job.

I might have not lost a job today but I had my share of life’s down time – a discouragement only if you let it. If there’s one thing I learned today, it’s this: “There are a lot more things that are beyond our control than we know. The best thing that we can control is how we react to these things and situations. Mastering your thoughts and reactions is a huge thing to do, requires mental and emotional hardwork but pays off really big”.

Share
[ 6 Replies ]

Switch to our mobile site