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I fixed myself a scoop of this strawberry Haagen Dazs ice cream (thanks to gas card) as I opened the laptop to write. I had a nice IMAX 3D movie this afternoon with three other friends – one was a housemate and two others were previous colleagues. It was really fun watching objects that are seemingly close, you think you can touch it. The movie was quite hilarious too. We had a good laugh.

The two old colleagues just had a business trip at the big city, so it was a good time to catch-up on each other. They’ll be attending a training in the next two days so I was trying to schedule some time with them before they get too busy.

Well, that’s just how it is living in a place that you still can’t call home. You always look for the familiar – familiar friends and friendly faces, homey stories and the usual laughter with good old pals. Growing up and starting a new life is fun and at the same time, challenging. Often times, I long for the home I know. However, I cannot deny the fact that a lot of things amaze me in this new life I have – new cultures (some weird, some nice), new attitudes, new people. I would say, this new life of mine has brought me deeper maturity of my understanding of things.

I guess this is my reality right now. My past is all but behind me, and my future is yet to unf0ld. A lot of what lies beyond, I do not know of. All I have is my past, and the faith in my God  which helps me look forward each and every day.

Many times, I wake up in the morning wondering what will transpire before me. Smiling as the day begins helps a lot to start your day. Real joy is not something you solicit from others. Real joy is what comes from within after being greatful of what you have.

Still, a lot of times, I cannot hide the truth of loneliness. Even until now, I still long for the life I had back home. I still long for the times when I see my Switee everyday. I still long for the life I had when my world was smaller and my reality was less than what I have now. But then again, the only way to go is forward. And onward, forward, one must go through life. The last time I went home, many where very much the same. The smell, the touch, the presence at home is always the same. If there is one thing that’s  changed, it was me. Life has changed me. I might deny it now but the things you learn outside the comforts of your home is always something unfamiliar.

Unfamiliarity brings with it anxiety. But it brings a lot of good stuff as well – new friendships, new learnings, new points of view, things that are essential in growing as a person. Right now, I tend to shape what I hope to be in the future. But in reality, I do not know of what I become in the future. It is in faithfulness that one finds comfort and peace of mind in whatever the future holds. A lot of moments will be happy, a lot will be sad, and a lot are dull, boring moments. But surely, whatever the future may hold, there is only one thing that you have control of. That is the present. Making the most of it is never easy. In fact, it’s a craft. Yet in failure, you get to learn. In failure, you get to realize how frail and limited a being you are. It is in accepting one’s finite capacity that you get to see the greatness of an infinite God. Accepting that reality brings you peace.

As I was writing, I was playing this web radio and the music was soothing and calm. It’s a contempo station and the music was taking me to thoughts of the past and the future. Well, I could never take away the thoughts I have of my switee… I keep her in my prayers. Stay safe my dear… (sorry for the cluttered thoughts )

Tomorrow is another day. Monday work day. Another chance to do one’s best

Let me sleep tonight. I hope I get to see you in my dreams my dear. For now, let me embrace you there…

P. S. loving you always my switee