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Hi Blog. It’s me again. It’s been a while that I haven’t written on you. Well, things are happening fast. Too fast that I can’t find the time to take note the details. Hmm, where did I left… Oh yes. My trip to Singapore.

Well, it was a great experience. And when I say great, I mean overwhelming. It was quite too much for me honestly – my first international flight, my first business trip, my first time to work with people from across countries and cultures, and yes, first time to meet my boss, my boss’ boss.. and my boss’ boss’ boss! Whew!

Please don’t get me wrong. My bosses are great people, fairly in touch with their lighter side. It’s just that, most of the things I’m dealing with everyday are pretty much new to me too – the people I meet on the streets, the people I cross the streets with, the people living across my apartment’s window are new to me. I was still on my adjustment stage when I flew for Singapore. That probably caused the balloon to bloat. Good thing it did not pop – yet..

One good thing with the trip though, is it made Makati much more of a home to me. It made me appreciate the boundaries of my own country. Singapore was beautiful, way more beautiful than any place I’ve ever been. Yet, I still could say, there is no place like home.

After the Singapore trip, I flew back and went straight to my apartment. What greeted me was darkness. My uncle was in a night shift again so nobody’s home. No welcomes and no “how was the trip” thing when I arrived. Just the silent, small apartment I began renting about a month ago.

The after the Singapore trip, my boss came to our office here in Makati to on-board me to my specific tasks. The whole week wasn’t a torture but undeniably critical for me. I mean, I need to get as much information in a little amount of time. After that, only remote communication for queries. It was interestingly challenging.

Then, last night, I went out with two old buddies of mine from college. We were in a choir together and it was fun being with old friends you are comfortable enough to burst out in laughter.

I was actually telling them how things are going with my new life here. One good point that my friend told me was that I am probably facing quarter life crisis – my transition from pre-adulthood to full adulthood. I felt it was very right. I mean, I realized when he raised that point that I am actually in denial of the things that are coming my way. He pointed out how in high school or college that our goals are actually laid down on us – do your assignments and answer your exams well to get high grades so that you’ll pass the semester. When you pass the semester, enroll and do so all over again for the incoming semester until you graduate. That was it back in school.

But now, everything is laid down before you – you do the choosing. The choices you make today will affect what happens to you in the future. Making those life-changing choices are a big thing, those which used to be only for the big guys. Now, I am actually getting into that stage, making choices that shape my life. Sometimes, I just want to get away from those decision making and want to live my life free and careless.

It’s difficult when what you need to do is different from what you want to do. It’s not about the job I have. It’s about the life I have now. You see, I want to always be in a comfortable situation (who doesn’t want to be, right?). In my case, that means living back in my parents’ house and doing my stuff with my computer, designing websites and playing computer games. But then, that is not what I need to do. I need to work well for a successful career in order for my future plans to come true. I want to have a family of my own soon, provide for them well with the best that I can. On the other hand, the inner child in me doesn’t want to let go of the comforts of my home and the fun and laughter of good old childhood days.

Maybe this is what Antoine de Exupery was talking about in his book. In order for a boy to be a man, he has to let go of his childish ways. Growing up is indeed difficult, and with it is learning that you bring for a lifetime.

Many times, I sit in silence, sorting out things in my mind, the things that I see, hear and feel. Just this evening, I went to have shower. One hand was reaching for the soap while the other turns the shower knob. The water was flowing down my chest. The warmth the humid air brings was gone for some time. I closed my eyes and it was a moment of bliss. Getting naked is refreshing. It frees you from clothes that symbolizes what you are on the outside world. When you bare yourself of it, all that is left is the real you, little, fragile and afraid. The real you is that little boy or girl that has worn the body of a grown-up to be able to live the life that the society wants him or her to live.

Life is fun. But life is not all fun. Life is also tears and pain. Life is a combination of the pleasant and the unpleasant. It is then that we make a choice to see what is beautiful and love-worth. It is in our brokenness that life’s small details become precious.